$32 Fender Cutting Board Becomes Working Telecaster

Because sometimes you want to shred licks instead of lettuce.

Have you ever been standing in your kitchen, dicing an onion, and thought, “You know what this culinary experience is missing? Searing hot country licks and middle-position twang.”

For years, Fender's marketing geniuses have sold a $32 bamboo cutting board shaped exactly like their iconic Telecaster. According to the official product description, it’s crafted from 100% bamboo, sports natural knots for “unique aesthetic appeal,” and is meant for any Fender fan looking to “get their chops together.”

But where Fender saw a novelty charcuterie board platter, YouTuber Not a Luthier saw an opportunity for a highly questionable, absolutely glorious DIY guitar build. Yes, he finally answered the question absolutely nobody was asking: What does a chopping board sound like if you bolt on a neck and some pickups?

A Cut Below the Rest?

Right out of the gate, expectations were aggressively low. While Fender’s marketing copy proudly touts this as an “Authentic Fender collectible,” our intrepid builder had a slightly different review upon unboxing: “The craftsmanship is absolute trash.”

But a true visionary isn’t stopped by subpar bamboo.

To bring this culinary monstrosity to life, Not a Luthier had to overcome some serious anatomical hurdles. The cutting board measures a measly 20mm deep, making a Thinline Telecaster look like it’s been hitting the buffet. Because the body was so razor-thin, a standard neck pocket route was completely out of the question—unless he wanted the neck screws to protrude through the back and impale his ribcage.

After fashioning a dangerously shallow neck route and sourcing some aggressively short screws, he salvaged a neck from one of his previous Frankenstein builds: a guitar made out of a drum cymbal that he affectionately describes as “wasn’t a failure, wasn’t a success.”

Serving Up the Tone

When you’re dealing with a body this malnourished, standard hardware just won't fit. Not a Luthier had to construct a custom acrylic base just to prop up the six-saddle bridge, ensuring the bridge pickup sat at a respectable height to actually catch the string vibrations.

For electronics, he kept things incredibly simple, ditching the traditional Telecaster three-way switch in favor of a brutally efficient on/off switch ripped from a Fender Mustang. Toss on an old black pickguard he had lying around the shop, and voila—dinner is served.

There was a genuine, lingering fear that the sheer tension of six steel strings would cause the flimsy bamboo slab to violently detonate into a cloud of organic toothpicks. Surprisingly, it held together. Even better? The natural bamboo grain actually gives the instrument a uniquely fetching, boutique aesthetic.

The Verdict

So, can this edgy new design actually cut through the mix?

“It sounds like a Telecaster,” Not a Luthier admits with a shrug after plugging the Frankenstein's-monster-of-a-kitchen-utensil into an amp. “It’s not exactly cutting-edge, but you probably wouldn’t notice this if it was hanging on a wall.”

It’s an absolutely useless exercise in futility, packed to the brim with puns, and we couldn’t love it more. Whether you’re carving a roast or carving out a sonic niche in your local indie band, the bar has officially been raised.

I’m sorry, and/or you’re welcome.

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